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After a couple of pretty damned pathetic attempts on my part to act like a geographer, I gave up. If I'd been navigating, we'd all be damned lost. Luckily FartsALot, while he may have been one stinky bastard sure did have a good sense for navigating by blind reckoning. Know what 'blind reckoning' means? It means wandering around by gut feel. Sweet, huh? So anyway, we walked down onto the great plain, and out over the hills that came down there. Off to the south side of the plain, the group started acting all kinds of weird. I first noticed it when they began to get a lot quieter and move more slowly. A couple of hours later, I noticed that as I watched my compass, we seemed to be avoiding a generally large area of forest off to our west. When I asked about it, the conversation got a bit hard to understand."Hey. Why not go that way?" I asked Farts, whose name was actually ListensToWind, but whatever."No, GreatOne. You do not want to go that way. Look, over there ... probably. His skin was blazing red as he drew a ragged breath and all but lunged for the packed of condoms that lay in the top dispenser. His voice cracked once more as he offered, with just a whole lot too much nonchalance"... and these please."The girl behind the counter didn't bat an eyelid and to the amusement of all but two of the occupants of the store, took great pains to hold the packet up in front of the young lad's face and slowly look for the bar-code to scan."How much does it say these are?" she asked him, pointing over the front of the counter. His confidence was almost completely shot and he just managed to croak out the price.She tallied up the cost and took his money with a smile. He had some trouble trying to find a pocket to put all the chocolate bars in without dropping the change and the treasured packet.He walked hurriedly to the door, his young girlfriend slipping out behind him.I felt it was too much of a temptation not to get involved with the two of them.I was.
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